A Change in Heart

OK...here's another rambling post about the whole schooling issue. As you can tell, this is a BIG deal to me. BIG. HUGE. ASTRONOMIC. Sigh....I think that I have added another wrinkle or two this week...and probably put another gray hair or two in Cody's head (I joke about Cody getting grays, but I soften it with the fact that I am getting the wrinkles. At least he can color!).

ANYWAY. I am a one-track-mind kind of person. When something is there...it's there. To stay. Until it gets settled...and I have a sense of peace about it. This is me with the smallest of things, so when something BIG comes along, it's that much worse. Enter the case of "my children are going to school and I am uncertain, unhappy, guilty, worried and concerned about my decision." Yep....that's not an easy one to just let lie....work out on it's own.

As the beginning of the school year is drawing near, I began to get this knot in my belly and this heaviness in my heart. It went beyond the fact that Faith and Cameron are growing up. I actually started questioning my decision. A. LOT. The plan was to take them with me to Headstart, but I wasn't feeling great with that decision any more....for several reasons. Something told me that I needed to trust my gut. Pray about it. I have. We are now planning to send the kids to a three day program at First United Methodist Church of Greensboro. I think that it will be a good transition for them...less children, shorter hours, fewer days. They are THREE. They are my babies!!!....I think that this is what's best....and I feel good about it. Relieved. I am no longer scared about them going to school. I am excited.

There is the problem of taking them and picking them up. Also, someone will need to get them ready! I won't be able to do none of these...which I AM a bit irritated/guilty/feeling sorry for myself about. So, I just hope that one day the kiddos will understand it was a matter of doing what was best for them...and mommy had to get over some of her selfish reasons of wanting them to go with her :)  HOWEVER, we have a great support system....our family and one heck of a sitter! Together, I think we have it all figured out. I am truly feeling blessed right now...well...ALWAYS....but particularly this afternoon. I thank God each day for the people that we are surrounded by....couldn't be any better in the world. We can't say thank-you enough to them.

So, there you have it! The kids are starting school....YAY!!! NOW, if I could get pumped up about MY going to school! ;)